Saturday, April 03, 2010

Rabbi Alan Lew on Baseball

היום המשה ימים בעמר
Today is the fifth day of the omer
הוד שבחסד
A day of humility in a week of loving kindness

It's damp and a bit gloomy in San Francisco today, but I can feel the sunshine that comes with the start of baseball season. There's something magical about this day because no matter what team you root for, whether at the top of the heap or a struggling franchise, everyone can dream of their team going to the World Series.
One of the bonds I had with my teacher, Rabbi Alan Lew, z"l, was that we were both fervent sports fans, although the Warriors were the only team we had in common. As far as baseball was concerned, he was a National League snob and loved to make reference to "that other, bush league team across the bay" that I rooted for. But then again, I could never understand how he could ever root for the Yankees, even during the World Series of 2001.
So on this day when hope springs eternal, I give you an excerpt from one of my favorite Rabbi Lew sermons, given during Rosh Hashanah 5760 in September, 1999. I know he would appreciate me sharing it with all of you today. And I think many of you who knew Rabbi Lew will be able to hear his voice as you read.


---------------

I have been a baseball fan all my life. The most vivid memory I have is my first visit to Ebbets Field in 1948. My Uncle Benny, my favorite uncle who died a few years later, took me. It was the day the Dodgers clinched the pennant that year, and after the game the crowds poured out onto the street outside the Dodger dressing room and waited for their heroes to come out. In those days, athletes used to wear sport coats with white shirts -- no ties, collars spread wide open -- and as long as I live, I will never forget the sight of Gil Hodges immense Adam's apple protruding out of the open neck of his white shirt. He was a god.

Another sight I'll never forget; a short while later my father took me to my first night game, also at Ebbets Field. Coming into the park, I caught my first glimpse of that glistening green grass diamond bathed in the arclight. My heart still stops a little whenever I walk into a stadium and see that.

And, of course, in 1948, Jackie Robinson began the civil rights revolution by penetrating baseball, because both he and Branch Rickey seemed to understand that baseball was at the heart of the American psyche, and if America was going to change, it had to change here first. You know, Louis Finkelstein, the great chancellor, perhaps the greatest chancellor of the Jewish Theological Seminary, had the same insight. He used to say, you can't be an American Rabbi unless you know baseball.

And in fact, I learned about social justice and civil rights and racial prejudice, not in school, not in synagogue, but through baseball.

Pee Wee Reese, the little colonel, died the other day. When Pee Wee Reese became the only player on the Dodgers to befriend Jackie Robinson, he also became my favorite player and he remained so until he retired.

Most of the ballplayers then were from the south. Pee Wee Reese was from the south too. Louisville, Kentucky, to be precise. But when the other players got up a petition saying they wouldn't play with Jackie Robinson, Pee Wee Reese refused to sign. And then one afternoon in Cincinnati, when the fans were taunting Robinson mercilessly, and even some of the players were joining in, Pee Wee Reese walked over and put his arm around Jackie Robinson and stood beside him. Later, Jackie Robinson said, I never felt alone on a baseball field after that.

So When Jackie Robinson couldn't find a house to buy, I sent him a letter inviting him to come live in my neighborhood. He wrote me back. He said he was sorry that he couldn't live in my neighborhood, because he and his family had just purchased a house in Stamford, Connecticut.

Baseball mirrors life in a subtle and deeply spiritual way. It has a deep aesthetic and we pour our souls into this mythic diamond and allow our deepest aspirations and conflicts to play out there.

The pitcher gives up two singles in a row and then there is an error and the bases are loaded and gazing down on this pitcher from high up in the stands -- up in the upper deck where God sits so he can see the big picture -- gazing down on this pitcher we recognize his agony, we identify with his sense of impending doom, of endless trouble overwhelming him on all sides. Then it's over in a flash. Someone hits into a double play. הפכת מספדי למחול לי פתכת שקי ותאזרני שמחה – his mourning has turned to singing, his sackcloth and ashes to joy (Psalm 30,verse 12). And sure it had cost him a run, but it could have been worse -- much worse.

Then the next inning, your team leads off with a triple -- man on third, no outs -- infinite possibilities for success. But then they walk the bases full and as the possibilities for success increase, so does the possibility of trouble. Now you could hit into a double play. Now you could squander all this good fortune. Now your success could turn to failure.

Suddenly, the ball squirts away from the catcher. There's a thrill of fear.

And you feel all this inside your kishkes. This is happening to you. This is happening in your soul. Your soul is living out this drama.

When [Major League] Baseball went on strike some years ago, the year before the Ripken record, in fact, the cynical sports writers all said, 'This is a travesty, but the fans deserve it, because as soon as the strike is over they'll all come crawling back and fill the parks again.'

But to everyone's surprise, the fans did not come crawling back. Either they took vows to avenge the injury by not attending any games that year, or they simply lost interest -- they feigned indifference -- the surest sign of a broken heart there is.

Why were we so hurt? Because we felt we had been violated spiritually. We were invited to pour our souls and our hearts into this spiritual world, and our basic assumption in doing so is that this world would go on and on and on, like any good religious cosmos; that it would persist. And then Baseball goes and violates the cardinal rule of any religion. It stops showing up. It doesn't keep going no matter what. They didn't play the World Series the year of the strike for crying out loud. And in doing so, baseball gave us a very clear and a very ugly message; their money was more important than our souls.

We gave them our souls -- they held them in sacred trust -- and then they broke the faith. They didn't show up. They invited us to open our souls and then they failed to support them with their continuing presence. They didn't persist. They weren't there. They weren't present. They left our soul to flounder, like a fish flopping around on the counter at the fish market.

So when people say, Mark Mcguire and Sammy Sosa saved baseball last year with their successful assault on Babe Ruth's cherished record -- with their incredible shower of big, booming home runs -- I respectfully disagree. I think baseball began to be saved the year before, when Cal Ripken broke Lou Geherig's record. This record -- his performance -- was precisely the antidote for the abomination baseball had committed. Baseball had failed to keep the faith, baseball had failed to show up, baseball had stopped. But Cal Ripken had showed up every day for 2,131 days. Cal Ripken had never failed to show up, and this achievement seemed to me to penetrate right to the marrow of the mysterious spirituality of Baseball and its power to transform us.

Simple human presence -- simply being present, simply persisting in being here -- has a tremendous spiritual power. It has the power to heal. It has the power to nurture.

Dry Bones No More

היום ארבעה ימים בעמר
Today is the fourth day of the omer
נצח שבחסד
A day of perseverance in a week of loving kindness

Today I chanted the haftarah for the Shabbat during Pesach - Ezekiel 36:37 - 37:14. I wrote about this haftarah three years ago when I first realized the vivid imagery these words portrayed of the Holocaust and the founding of the State of Israel--even though this was written around 600 B.C.E. You can read that post here.

While studying it this year, I saw an additional teaching. Three times in his vision, God tells Ezekiel to proclaim his prophesy. First, in 37:4, God says, ""Prophesy over these bones." When Ezekiel complies, the bones come together, get their sinew and their skin. Then, in verse 9 God says, "Prophesy to the breath." When Ezekiel does this, the bones come to life and rise. And in verse 12, God says, "Prophesy, therefore, and say to them: Thus said Adonai, your God. I am going to open your graves and lift you out of the graves, O My people, and bring you to the land of Israel."

This reminds me that while faith in the teachings of our people will keep us alive through the generations, we need to do the work. It is the prophesy we need to hear, whether we believe in God or not. We need to find those true leaders and teachers who will guide us through the rough times. I'm not sure who or what God is--that's something I'm continually working on. But I do know that the teachings of the Torah, the teachings of the Tanach have sustained the Jewish people for thousands of years. They have kept us alive and breathed life into us. As long as we can still hear them, we will survive.

And on this day of perseverance, I remember with loving kindness two of those survivors to whom I dedicated this haftarah today. Mitzi Wilner, z"l and Goldie Rassen, z"l--two incredibly strong women who lived through the hell of the valley of dry bones and survived with their faith intact. They shared their love of life and Judaism with me and for that, I will be forever grateful.

Friday, April 02, 2010

What does it mean to be free?

היום שלשה ימים בעמר
Today is the third day of the omer
תפארת שבחסד
A day of compassion in a week of loving kindness


The first night of Pesach I attended a lovely seder hosted by Aryae Coopersmith and Wendy Berk, founders of the Coastside Torah Circle. Along with food and wine/grape juice, we were asked to bring a two minute story to share, entitled “A Time in My Life When I Felt Most Free.”

The first thing that came to mind for me when I saw that in the email was, "I don't know that I've ever felt free." It was very disconcerting. But it has given me something to, as my friend Robert Russo would say, cogitate on.

What does it mean to be free? Are we ever truly free? Is being free something to strive for? Wouldn't pure freedom cut us off from our relations with those around us--both in our personal lives and in the larger circle of the world? It's one thing to be free to do whatever we want, whenever we want, but what about the consequences to others? So is freedom just a concept, not an action? I don't expect definitive answers, but welcome anyone who wishes to share their thoughts on the matter.

Back to Monday night's seder--how did I handle the issue? I told of two times I felt liberation--something related to freedom but no the same. One was when I moved from NY to SF, sharing my thoughts given in yesterday's post. The other is right now, as I liberate myself from feeling hemmed in by a spiritual center that no longer serves me and move towards a spiritual practice that feeds my soul.

כן יהי רצון May it be so

Thursday, April 01, 2010

The best move I ever made

היום שני ימים בעמר
Today is the second day of the Omer
גבורה שבחסד
A day of strength in a week of loving kindness


On April 1, 1986, I walked out of my NYC apartment for the last time and flew to San Francisco, starting not just a new chapter in my life, but a whole new book. I was not entering unknown territory. For the year and a half prior to that moment, I had been going back and forth between NY and SF to be with Ken. On my visit that February I secured a job (which didn't turn out to be so secure, but that's a story for another day). I was as prepared as I could be to make the move and I knew that it was a move I had to make.

That decision was based on the need to move towards something, as opposed to being propelled by the need to run away. I didn't come to San Francisco to reinvent myself, but I have been able to become more of who I am with no expectations to weigh me down. I am lucky to feel that I have ended up in the place I was destined to live. My "New York-ness" will never be completely stifled--I still talk fast with hands waving, and can still become very impatient waiting in line. But San Francisco has my heart--it is my home.

As I look back I realize it took strength to make that leap of faith. And the loving kindness that I have found here all these years proves it was the right leap to make.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The First Step on the 5770 Omer Trail

היום יום אחד בעמר
Today is the first day of the omer
חסד שבחסד
A day of loving-kindness in a week of loving kindness

Today begins the season of the omer, 5770. For me, it marks the first of 49 blog posts, daily reflections on the road from liberation to revelation. At least, that's the plan :) I don't know how much liberating has been accomplished or what will be revealed, but must always remember that it's taking the journey that counts.

On Day One, 5767, the first year of this writing practice, I was excited about starting something new to guide me in my spiritual path. On Day One, 5768, I was joyful in the practice I shared with others. On Day One, 5779, I was cautiously hopeful with the changes happening in the world. Today at Day One, 5770, I stand at a pivot point in my life. I can see much to look forward to ahead of me, but I must also process the sadness as I separate from what I need to leave behind. So that's this year's starting point--we'll see what transpires and/or transforms in the days and weeks to come.

I welcome anyone who wishes to come along for the ride. I use the kabbalistic sephirot as well as the day and week count. You can find many explanations for this -- click here for one that's dogma free. Check in when you can--comment as you wish. It's nice to have company on the road.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

As horrifying as it is, this is a MUST SEE

I'm sorry to make this my first missive back from my posting hiatus, but this is too important to miss.

I have kept my Sarah Palin issues out of this blog, knowing that it is a loaded subject. But for those who doubt how important it is that she never, ever, get into any sort of globally influential position, watch this video put out by SarahPac.

As hard as it may be, I encourage you to stick it out to the end for the full effect. I don't recommend watching this with a full stomach. Taking the sound out will help.

Chilling..........

Friday, June 05, 2009

President Obama's Cairo Speech

It's hard to believe that anyone hearing and/or reading this speech cannot see how important it is that Barack Obama is President of the United States at this time in history. Not only is he working to put this country back on track, but he is doing so much to help regain respect for America throughout the world.

When he speaks, he speaks with respect for others, which is why he is listened to and treated with respect--a respect that is earned by his words and deeds, not just because of his position. He is a true leader, who will work with other leaders to forge a road to peace.

If you haven't heard or read the speech, here is the link to the transcript and the video of the speech.

Click here for the transcript of the speech from the White House website.


Sunday, May 31, 2009

In with the Old; In with the New

On Thursday night I attended "The California Street Corridor Traveling Shavuot," a series of study sessions sponsored by the JCCSF, Sherith Israel, Temple Emanu-El, and Beth Sholom. We walked from place to place, choosing from a number of teaching sessions at each facility. The evening ended with Marsha Attie leading the 50-60 assembled in song and dance. The three young rabbis who organized it--Micah Hyman, Jonathan Jaffe, and Julie Saxe-Taller--took a chance on this concept, and it worked. And it has the potential to get better in future years.

Rabbi Peretz Wolf-Prusan, an amazingly gifted teacher, held the last session of the evening in the chapel of Beth Sholom. His topic was "Ever Since Sinai: Pirke Avot and the Rabbinic Revolution." He had us look at the beginning of Pirke Avot--part of the Mishnah that contains six chapters of sayings from the rabbis of Yavneh. These rabbis needed to recreate the rituals of Judaism following the fall of the Second Temple.

They created a religion that was centered within each person in their home. There was no longer a homeland, no central place of worship, no priestly intermediary. And that is the Judaism that has survived these thousands of years. It is what the Dali Lama found out when he listened to the presentations of the Jewish leaders gathered to answer the question: How had the Jewish people survived through all these years in exile. (You can read about that in Roger Kamenetz's The Jew in the Lotus.)

When there was no central "authority" the rituals controlling the practice had to balance between the central shared traditions and home practice. Customs were influenced by the different cultures of the lands of exile--these lands that have now become home. The rabbis of each generations in all different places studied the Torah, the Tanach, the Talmud, and other critical writings of sages through the eras. They had the task of transmitting the traditions of this ancient religion to people living totally different times and places. As long as that process continues, Judaism will continue to thrive.

Some of my struggles lately have been with the rabbinical interpretations from past eras that still rule today. I don't mean to just shrug off what doesn't work in the name of modernity, but we need to look at the teachings through the lens of their time, and then bring them to a clearer place while looking through the glasses we wear now. It feels like we're held captive by the Shulchan Aruch, Rabbi Joseph Caro's epic interpretation of Jewish Law written in the late 16th century. So much of what is called halachah - law - seems stuck in that time, in that document. Why did so many aspects of our living religion become stagnant.

I admit that I'm not sure that I am knowledgeable enough to come to that conclusion. It definitely comes more from my heart than my head. And I know that not all parts of Judaism got stuck there. But the conflicts over practice that too often tear Jews apart from one another seem to stem from there.

Those who want to keep their practice clear from as much as the last 500 years as possible are welcome to do so. But why do they need to exercise so much influence over those of us who wish to live as practicing Jews in this 21st Century world.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Standing at Sinai


היום תשעה וארבעים יומים שהם שבעה שבועות לעמר
Today is the forty-
ninth day of the omer - seven weeks
מלכת שבמלכת

A day of majesty in a week of majesty




This is it, the counting is now complete. Am I prepared for revelation? I'm not sure....

My spiritual struggles seem to be the thread weaving its way through this year's omer posts. I keep looking for balance that seems so elusive at times. I walk the fine line between seeking and acceptance. I'm often not sure what it is I'm looking for; I hope I know when I find "it." But then again, I must remember it's about the journey and not the outcome.

I hope my musings have meant something to the readers who have found their way here. Some of you I know--some of you I don't. I would love to hear from any of you who have followed my journey this year. Feel free to send me an email, or just comment here anonymously. It would be great to share in the connection. I will continue to write, just not every day. So please, continue to tune in :)

And as we approach that moment at Sinai, let me say....

חג שמח
Chag Sameach

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Centering on Torah


היום שמונה וארבעים יומים שהם ששה שבועות וששה יומים לעמר
Today is the forty-eightה day of the omer - six weeks and six days
יסוד שבמלכת

A day of foundation in a week of majesty



In two days we will celebrate Matan Torah--the giving of the Torah. In some ways, I think I should think about this as a kind of New Year celebration--to do teshuvah; to make resolutions. As I noted earlier this week, I keep Torah close. So the creation, this first view of the Torah, is an important beginning.

I've felt a loss of spiritual center this year. I could cite lots of reasons--Beth Sholom "fatigue", the passing of Mitzi and Rabbi Lew in such a short time, issues with advancing to "elder" status, to name a few. But instead of looking at what I've lost, what I cannot change, I realize I need to go back to my basics--looking to what sustains me. Just as I go to the gym weekly to keep my body in tune, I need to study Torah each week to keep my mind and spirit in tune.

In the past few years I have centered much of my Jewish practice on service to my community. I called on the strength of my practice to get both my kahal and myself through those difficult years. I will continue to support my community, but I need to make the replenishment of my spirit a priority.

This is the message of this day of foundation in the week of majesty--this day as we take those final steps that take us to Sinai.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

UP--Thumbs Down


היום שבעה וארבעים יומים שהם ששה שבועות וחמשה יומים לעמר
Today is the forty-seventh
day of the omer - six weeks and five days
הוד שבמלכת

A day of humility in a week of majesty




I just saw the new Disney/Pixar movie, UP. I wouldn't call it a bad movie but, taking the high quality of the animation out of the equation, I thought it was very mediocre.

The plot was pretty standard--an adventure/dream fulfilling/friendship story--yes, I shed some tears, but then again, I'm easily manipulated in that way :) In fact, it seemed that the story was driven by the need to make the cool action sequences, going from one to the other with weak links. The writing wasn't very good; many of the lines predictable. And when it was done, I was left with nothing that stayed with me. It's a movie that is ultimately forgettable.

Yes, the animation is great, with vibrant colors and detail that makes the images pop off the screen. But I need more for a movie to reach me, and this one definitely did not. But a quick look at the early reviews put me in the minority, if this and this and this is any indication.

But I'd rather watch The Incredibles, Ratatouille, or even Cars than UP. And as far as I'm concerned, Wall-E is in a higher class all by itself. You can read my thoughts about that movie here, and here, and here. I doubt you'll be hearing any more from me about UP.

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day Remembrance


היום ששה וארבעים יומים שהם ששה שבועות וארבעה יומים לעמר
Today is the forty-sixth day of the omer - six weeks and four days
נצח שבמלכת

A day of endurance in a week of majesty

This morning at minyan I once again commemorated the yarhzeit of my uncle, Edward Heiss, a bombardier in World War II whose plane was shot down over Malaysia on January 11, 1945. His name was later found on the roster of a Japanese prisoner of war camp, but he never made it home.


This particular yarhzeit has taken on significance to me that goes beyond the personal. Make no mistake, deep emotions are stirred within me. I feel so connected to this man who I never knew. I mourn for the love and laughter he would have added to our family. I mourn for my father's loss of his brother and mentor; for my grandparent's loss of their oldest son. On this day I channel their grief--tear pour out and my voice catches as I recite the El Malei prayer to honor his life. You can read the words I share here, and reflections of Memorial Day's past here and here.

But on this day that has come to mean the start of summer more than a day of remembrance, honoring the memory of my uncle brings home the reality of the lives lost in war. There are many families who are grieving as my family grieved; in as much denial as my grandfather, who could not accept the loss of his son. It is important to me to bring that realization to my community each Memorial Day, to hold that consciousness in their hearts. We need to remember that war, justified or not, will take its toll--on the living as well as the countless lives lost. And true healing from those wounds does not come from forgetting those lost lives, but remembering and celebrating them.


Zichrono L'Vracha, Uncle Eddie.
Your memory is a blessing to me, and to those who hear your story.