We stop so we can go on.....

היום חמשה ועשרים יום, שהם שלשה שבועות וארבעה ימים, בעמר
Today is twenty-five days, which is three weeks and four days, of the omer
נצח שבנצח
A day of perseverance in a week of perseverance

Today is the midpoint of the omer journey--as many days behind as there are ahead. It is Shabbat, of rest and reflection. Let us take a moment to be grateful for our progress so far, and gather our energy needed to move forward.

On this day of perseverance squared, we honor the stopping needed to continue.

Moving ahead to stop

היום אחד עשר יום, שהם שבוע אחד וארבעה ימים, בעמר
Today is eleven days, which is one week and four days, of the omer
נצח שבגבורה
A day of perseverance in a week of strength

In this year's count, we are reminded that Shabbat is an act of perseverance.

Perseverance has a feeling of constant movement, pushing ahead, making way. Shabbat is none of those things. It is about stopping, resting, not working. And yet, since it is part of every week, no matter how busy that week may be, it takes perseverance to keep that weekly stopping, going. That perseverance is one strength of the practice.

It's all about the balance

היום ששה עשר יום שהם שני שבועות ושני ימים בעמר
Today is sixteen days--that is two weeks and two days--of the omer
גבורה שתפארת
A day of strength in a week of compassion

A post about balance from 2011. An ongoing issue in my life . . . 
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Which brings up the issue of practice in one's life--how to set priorities, how to find balance. I work in a business that can be 24/7, depending on the specifics of the job. When I began to take on Jewish practice, Shabbat was the first observance I took on. It was interesting to watch my non-Jewish clients be very respectful of my stand to not work on Saturdays, while the Jews couldn't figure out why I was keeping to what they considered to be an anachronistic ritual. But it felt good to stop each week no matter what was happening around me--to make a stand for my time to pray, to rest, to revitalize--body and soul.

This practice of blogging the omer is not as concrete as keeping kosher or not working on Shabbat. It is a practice that is particular to me, not a tribal custom. Yet it has its own importance and needs to be honored. And so I carve out some time during the day to write, time that could and maybe should be spent on other things that would be more productive and/or more lucrative.

Keeping to a practice has its own rewards that are not always apparent in the moment. That is certainly true during this omer period. I can say that I am learning that finding balance is not always dependent on equality of time. It's more like the balance of a board on a point--its balance come from equal weight on each side. But sometimes, when the weight is unequal, you just need to move the fulcrum.

The TImeless Stream

היום אחד שבעה עשר יום שהם שני שבועות ושלשה ימים בעמר
Today is seventeen days, which is two weeks and three days of the omer
תפארת שבתפארת
A day of compassion in a week of compassion

Time for another breath of Shabbat, with a coolness not felt in these past days.
My mind is full at the moment, but it's time to clear it out, breath in Shabbat.
Thankful for these interludes built into each week,
feeling the wisdom of the ancients,
entering into that timeless stream with them

Good Shabbas to all

Shabbat Interlude

היום עשרה ימים שהם שבוע אחד ושלשה ימים בעמר
Today is ten days, which is one week and three days of the omer
תפארת שבגבורה
A day of compassion in a week of strength

I take a deep breath, preparing to enter Shabbat
Thankful for this morning's rain and the late afternoon sun
Glad to be looking forward more than back
More aware of these steps towards revelation than I've ever been
Appreciating this peaceful moment

Invisible, Intangible

היום אחד ושלשים יום שהם ארבעה שבועות ושלשה ימים בעמר
Today is thirty-one days, which is four weeks and three days of the omer
תפארת שבהוד
A day of compassion in a week of humility

When words fail me, I turn to others. Ruth Brin is one of my go-to Jewish poets. I've used her poems in prayer services and as a way to transition from meditation. Here is one of my favorites:

Invisible, Intangible 

All the invisible things fill our days,
Music and love and laughter;
All the intangible things affect us,
Words and anger and prejudice 

You are invisible and intangible,
A God of moods and relationships.
Within us, you are the spirit of unity,
Beyond us, You are the guide to greatness. 

We pray to You with an invisible, intangible prayer.
You answer with a flaming sunset
And the touch of a baby's cheek.

Shabbat Shalom

A Shabbat that we all need . . .

היום ארבעה ועשרים יום שהם שלשה שבועות ושלשה ימים בעמר

Today is twenty-four days, which is three weeks and three days of the omer
תפראת שבנצח
A day of compassion in a week of perseverance

Thankful that we can all have a Shabbat of peace.

Going for a Quiet Mind

היום שלשה ועשרים יום שהם שלשה שבועות ושני ימים בעמר

Today is twenty-three days, which is three weeks and two days of the omer
גבורה שבנצח
A day of strength in a week of perseverance

Right now, I only have no words---or too many.
I'll just look forward
and lengthen my entry into Shabbat

Breathing into Shabbat

היום עשרה ימים שהם שבוע אחד ושלשה ימים בעמר
Today is ten days, which is one week and three days of the omer
תפארת שבגבורה
A day of compassion in a week of strength

I take a deep breath, preparing to enter Shabbat.
Time to join with community - release the week past
A refreshing pause - before we start again

Oneness

היום חמשה ועשרים יום שהם שלשה שבועות וארבעה ימים לעמר
Today is twenty-five days, which is three weeks and four days, of the omer
נצח שבנצח
A day of perseverance in a week of perseverance

In honor of finishing a week of yoga - oneness, I bring you this poem:

Finding Unity 

Those who know do not speak;
Those who speak do not know.
Stop up the openings,
Close down the doors,
Rub off the sharp edges.
Unravel all confusion.
Harmonize the light,
Give up contention:
This is called finding the unity of life.
When love and hatred cannot affect you,
Profit and loss cannot touch you,
Praise and blame cannot ruffle you,
You are honored by all the world
                      ---Lao Tzu

Wishing you a good Shabbos

Personal Practice

היום ארבעה ימים לעמר

Today is four days of the omer

נצח שבחסד

A day of perseverance in a week of loving kindness

Today is the first Shabbat of the omer period. Each year I need to decide how I am going to handle the blogging on the Shabbatot of the omer. It is clear that using my computer, or even just writing the post for the day is not halachically correct. But my practice does not encompass strict observance of the Jewish halachic laws. In fact, one advantage of not being a rabbi is the ability to more easily make my Jewish practice my own, taking on the commitment of following various rituals as I am ready. I can also give myself the latitude to reject those strictures I feel don't make sense for me.

I have no problem writing--on the computer or on paper--on Shabbat. I would not write on Shabbat within the confines of my synagogue, that would be disrespectful. It needs to stand as a place of comfort for all members wherever they stand in the range of observance. My own level is somewhat of a moving target--different rituals have different meaning in different years. I set the rigors of my practice as needed. So this year I will write and post on Shabbat--other years may be different.

Because study is integral to my spiritual practice, I find myself in an evolving process. It's that constant evolution that keeps me on this path. The movement may be slow--sometimes frustratingly so--but as long as I can keep studying and learning, progress is made.

Today we honor perseverance and loving-kindness--two important elements in bringing spiritual practice into your life. Through the lens of loving-kindness you can see what ritual will work for you. Whatever you chose, you need to make a commitment to it--even if it's just for a period of time. Perseverance to the practice is what makes it work.

Shabbat Minuchah - Rest

היום ששה וארבעים יום שהם ששה שבועות וארבעה ימים בעמר
Today is the forty-sixth day, making six weeks and four days of the omer
נצח שב מלכות
A day of perseverance in a week of majesty


It was Shabbat--and I rested......

Rosh Chodesh Sivan

היום חמשה וארבעים יום שהם ששה שבועות ושלשה ימים בעמר
Today is the forty-fifth day, making six weeks and three days of the omer
תפרת שב מלכות
A day of compassion in a week of majesty

Chodesh Tov! Today is the first of Sivan--six days to revelation.....whatever form that takes :)

I fulfilled the promise made in yesterday's post and dedicated my Rosh Chodesh Torah reading to Noa Roz and the Women of the Wall (WoW). Responding to a message from WoW posted on Facebook, I sent them the photo you see below so they can document the support coming to them from all over the world. I was glad to have my 90-year-old Russian friend Yitzchak in the photo with me. Sadly, because of circulation problems, he can no longer wear his tefillin. But he is proud and happy that I wear mine.

לדור ודור –– l'dor v'dor
from generation to generation
all genders included.

Shabbat Shalom

Shabbat is Rest

היום שמנה ושלשים יום שהם חמשה שבועות ושלשה יומים בעמר
Today is the thirty-eighth day, making five weeks and three days of the omer
תפרת שב יסוד
A day of compassion in a week of foundation

This week, in my 6th grade class on sacred space, we discussed Shabbat--what is it, what does it mean, what does it mean to them. (hmmm, sound familiar?) I asked them to write about Shabbat--how have they practiced it, what rituals did they observe, what can they do to bring more Shabbat into their lives.

As we enter into Shabbat, I will share one response--a wonderful example of how much I learn from my students.

Shabbat Shalom

To me, Shabbat is rest. It is living in the moment. This rule, this God-given law, is a gift. Like Buddha gave the people yoga, God gave us Shabbat. Because of Shabbat we have one day where we don't have to worry about money or school or social life or gossip or emotions. On Shabbat we can simply rest. We don't have to work. Never think of Shabbat as a restriction--Shabbat is a privilege. On Shabbat you can unplug your electronics. You can turn off your phones. You can silence the family, calm your pets, turnoff the lights, and find a sacred place to tell God how much you appreciate his gift, and simply enjoy the fact that you are simply there.

Random Thoughts

היום שנים ועשרים יומים שהם שלשה שבועות ויום אחד לעמר
Today is the twenty-second day of the omer - three weeks and one day
חסד שבנצך
A day of loving kindness in a week of endurance


Some random thoughts on a rainy day......

From Maggie Anton to Aviva Zornberg to a great kick-off session of a newly formed Torah study group--I am filled with inspiration and great teachings. May I continue to process these new thoughts and insights and use them to move forward.

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Although I realize that any translation will add it's own meaning to text, I'm finding that I prefer the Artscroll Tanach to the JPS versions. As I use it in study sessions, I find that it is closer to the Pshat (literal) level of study.

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More support for my "the 21st century starts now" theory, courtesy of the LA Times:
Last big VHS supplier abandons the business

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Reading Maggie Anton's Rashi's Daughters, Books 1 & 2, I'm learning that Talmud students of that time--11th/12th centuries--would memorize the text--Mishnah and Gemara--in order to be able to then discuss them. It makes sense, I'm sure written copies were few and not easily obtained. But in the jumble of my brain, this brought to mind Ray Bradbury's Fahrenheit 451, a novel set in a future time when books are being burned. A group of activists determined to save the words recruit people to memorize the books. Although I loved the theory of that solution, I never felt that mankind could pull it off, that we wouldn't be able to keep those writings alive. Little did I know, although with different motivation, in the Middle Ages there were people--dare I say "my people"-- who did just that.

Shabbat Shalom

Wrestling with the Fire

היום תשעה יומים שהם שבוע אחד ושני יומים לעמר
Today is the ninth day of the omer - one week and two days
גבורה שבגבורה
A day of strength in a week of strength



A different kind of Shabbat today--a gathering of those who wished to join together in songs, prayers and teachings in a wonderful garden on a warm, sunny day. Several short Torah drashes--thought provoking, with more questions than answers on how to grapple with a difficult parsha like Shmini, which contains the story of Aaron's sons Nadav and Avihu--how they offered God אש זרה "strange fire" and were killed by fire from God. It is the grappling with these stories year after year, challenging us to look at inconceivable actions from different side and in different ways, that brings us in conversation with the Transcendent God.

The strength of Shabbat

היום שני יומים לעמר
Today is the second day of the omer
גבורה שבחסד
A day of strength in a week of loving kindness

In this year of omer counting, Saturday--Shabbat is the day of strength. That seems like a disconnect, since Shabbat is a day of rest, a day spent refreshing oneself physically, mentally, and perhaps emotionally. Many times strength implies a certain amount of work, something one is not supposed to do on Shabbat.

So, what is the strength of Shabbat? Something to ponder over the next weeks.......

Omer 5768 - Day 27; 3 weeks & 6 days

Today was Yesod she b'Nitzach - a day of foundation in a week of endurance.

It's appropriate that foundation and endurance are the qualities that mark this Shabbat, the last one before Beth Sholom inhabits its new space.

The endurance part is certainly true--it's been a very long two years. There were times when the uncertainty of the future of our community seemed in doubt. I will admit that there were moments when I feared we would have a beautiful new structure with few people to fill it.

But Beth Sholom is more than just a building, and the foundation built through the generations is strong. Tomorrow we will march our Torahs and ourselves into our new home. We have endured, and the foundations of our building and of our community are strong and will keep us vibrant for many years to come.

A Sense of Shalom

In about a month from now, Beth Sholom will start moving into its new building, and our community will have a home again after being Bamidbar--in the wilderness--for almost two years. The time away has been difficult and had a negative impact on many of our practices and traditions, not least of which was the negative effect it had on our Shabbat gatherings.

Most of the time we've been without our own building our congregation was split between two services for Shabbat--one at another congregation across town and one in our school building for those who do not drive on Shabbat. Since January we've been holding Shabbat services at St. James Church, which has allowed us to come together once again as prepare to return to our new home. We get to feel that community spirit again, to be back with our Beth Sholom traditions while trying out some new ways of experiencing prayers.

Yesterday was a Shabbat that brought me that feeling of shalom, of fullness, that has been missing from much of my time Bamidbar. It wasn't any special Shabbat--it was just the specialness that is Shabbat. We sang together and prayed together and learned together. There were elders and youngsters and expectant parents. A mom and her daughter opened the ark; a dad and his son shared a birthday aliyah. Babies were sharing their own version of davening, and a little boy couldn't wait to lead Adon Olam. At kiddish, a young couple spent time talking with a 90 year old matriarch, sharing stories about living in Brooklyn, New York.

And I got to take it all in and let it fill me up. I spent no time worrying about anything. The service flowed as it needed to flow--any burps were just integrated into the stream. The spirit in the room was one of joy; the feeling of community palpable.

We are in the month of Nissan--in the Torah, the first month of the year. It is in this month, in this new year, that we start to move into our new makom, our new space. It is good to see, hear, and know that while it's great that we have a literally awesome, new physical place, it is the community spirit we are rebuilding that will sustain us.