The past, present, future of life

היום אחד שמונה עשר יום שהם שני שבועות וארבעה ימים בעמר
Today is eighteen days, which is two weeks and four days of the omer
נצח שבתפארת
A day of perseverance in a week of compassion

It's the 18th day - the חי - chai - day of the omer. Today is the "life" day of the omer.

Each Hebrew letter has a number associated with it, which is how Jewish dates are written, and is the basis for Gamatria - the studying of Jewish text from the number value of the words.
חי - chai - means life
ח = 8
י = 10
So יח is 18 = life.

Today is also Shabbat - a day of rest - a day which is made for contemplation of one's life. These days of contemplation mean more to me this year as I face my 60th birthday in a couple of months. It's one of those milestones that force you to look at your life--where you've been, where you are, where you're going.

As I look back--there's a lot that has been accomplished.

As I look forward--there's a lot still to be done.

I stand in the here and now -- appreciating the past, anticipating the future . . .

But I need to live in the present

Birthday Girl

Today is my 56th birthday.

Most of you who are reading this know that I am a birthday girl. As long as I've been conscious of the birthday ritual, I have celebrated with some sort of gusto. I used to say, "Lincoln has his day, Washington has his day, I have my day." Those poor guys have lost their individual days to President's Day, but I maintain mine. This year I bring back one tradition I have let lapse--the birthday message.

I enter this next year of my life with certain clarifications that have eluded me for too many years. I had a calling, but the path to the what and how has been foggy. Taking the plunge into teaching this year has cleared the way. There's still much work to be done with more adventures along the way, but that's the best part :) But I have a direction that goes inward and outward; lets me connect with others and feed my soul.

I'm also gaining some balance--something I've been struggling with for years. I feel myself breathing again, making space while setting boundaries. I am learning to release my anger. With the meditative, reflective month of Elul ahead, that work with continue.

I am mindful and grateful for the advantages I have in life. Sixteen years ago, in my 40th Birthday Message I wrote:

Life has certainly been anything but boring up to this point. Interesting things have happened to me, and I've made interesting things happen. I've gotten to a pretty good place without too much compromise. I'm lucky to live with a special person in my life whom I love, and who loves me. I have the love and support of friends and family.

All that still rings true.

The heavy mist that surrounded me in this past years brought a disconnect with many people in my life that I hold dear. As a birthday present to myself, I'm going to reach out and reconnect. I'm hoping some of you are reading this now. If so, I apologize for my long absence, but know that none of you ever left my heart.

So as I pass another marker on the journey of life, I thank you all for accompanying me along the way.

Love,

Marilyn