Teshuvah

It's the first of Elul--a month a introspection before the Yamim Noraim--the Days of Awe--the High Holidays of Rosh HaShonah and Yom Kippur. It's a time of Teshuvah--of repentence, of returning. So it's appropriate that I return to blogging at this time. Why I've returned to this space...well, that's a post for another time and maybe on the other space. But for now, here I am.

The start of this month is not so great. The physical space of that housed many of my spiritual activities for the past 6 years is being torn down. It needs to happen to make space to build anew. But as I watch the walls rip apart, as I hear the crack of the wood and stucco breaking down, something in me breaks as well. It heralds the rough times ahead as the community goes into the wilderness, becomes homeless for two years.

With the loss of our space comes a change in how our community comes together. On Shabbat, some of us are in one place; others in another. This needs to be done to accomodate everyone's needs. And now, on some of the holidays, those of us without school age children will be separate from the families with children. This is hardest of all for me. One thing I love about our community is its inter-generational quality--a true family. Having to be apart makes me feel like part of a family whose siblings have to be split into different foster homes.

It's hard to feel so depressed on this day that should be more uplifting--the day I hear the shofar blown for the first time in this season. But ultimately, it's okay that I feel this way--it gives me a place to start my work of this month. It gives me a place to start my Teshuvah--to work on returning to a place of spiritual center--a place that should not have or need any walls......