Can't we all just get along - Easter Sunday Edition

היום חמשה ימים בעמר
Today is five days of the omer
הוד שבחסד
A day of humility in a week of loving kindness

I've started reading A Convenient Hatred: The History of Antisemitism, published by Facing History and Ourselves, an educational organization founded in the 1970s that is dedicated to "linking the past to the moral and ethical questions of our time through a rigorous examination of the root causes of antisemitism, racism, and other hatred." Facing History believes that "education is the key to combating bigotry and nurturing democracy." They have amazing resources for the classroom and work with educators to bring important discussions and teachings to their students.

Last fall I was part of one of their workshops, "Holocaust and Human Behavior." The history, structure, and insights I gained from this curriculum has been invaluable in developing the Shoah class I teach to middle-schoolers at Peninsula Temple Beth El in San Mateo. Too many of my students have no relationship to the Holocaust at all, no idea why it is important to them--as Jews or even as citizens of the world. With the help of Facing History and their resources, I am able to place them in that time, both as Jews and as German citizens. I can bring to them an understanding of the grand scale of this tragedy and what it means to us as Jews today. It also makes a space to talk about what we can do to combat the discrimination that goes on today--in ways both small and large.

I also teach about antisemitism in my classes, and am always looking for different ways to reach my students. This book, and the week-long online workshop I participated in last week will help me do that. As I read, there are times the phrase, "the more things change, the more they remain the same" pops into my head.

One example, especially apropos on Easter Sunday, concerns the beginnings of Christianity. We are reminded that Jesus was Jew. In describing Jewish life in Jesus's time, we learn that "Jews at that time were deeply divided over issues of faith and practice." Sound familiar? Instead of Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist, Orthodox, Renewal, etc, they had the Sadducees, Pharisees, Essenes. After Jesus's death, the book tells us, ". . . small groups of Jews met regularly to pray together and discuss his teachings. Among them were James and Peter, two of Jesus's disciples, or followers. They tried to share their understanding of their messiah with fellow Jews in synagogues and other gathering places." This brought a wry smile on my face as I could just imagine how well that was received.

I can accept that the belief that Jesus was the Messiah, the son of God, was never going to be accepted by the majority of Jews of any sect, making the break off of what was to become Christianity from Judaism was inevitable. But perhaps, in keeping with the sephirot we honor today, if both sides had more humility to see the good of each factions' teachings--those that include peace, love, honesty, compassion--there would be more loving-kindess between us all today.

Finding Common Ground in the Valley of Dry Bones

היום ארבעה ימים בעמר
Today is four days of the omer
נצח שבחסד
A day of perseverence in a week of loving kindness

Today on Shabbat Hol Hamoed Pesach--the Shabbat in the midst of Passover--the haftarah that is chanted is the "Dry Bones" story - Ezekiel 37:1 - 37:14. Rabbi Moshe Levin of Congregation Ner Tamid in San Francisco teaches that this haftarah would be better placed in the week between Yom HaShoah--Holocaust Remembrance Day, and Yom HaAtzmaut--Israel Independence Day. I very much agree with him. It is a story that gives me chills each time I read it, seeing an ancient prophesy that came to life. I wrote about this during the counting of the omer in 2007. That was when I first really read the story and saw the link to being lifted from the ashes of the Shoah, restored to life in a land that we can call our home.

Three years ago, on this same omer day, I found another layer to this story. I saw that redemption doesn't just happen, we need to hear the prophesies and find the ways and the leaders that will make this happen. Finding the right leadership in Israel right now seems even more urgent. I fear that if things do not move forward towards a two-state solution, there will be no land to call home.

This year, I add another layer of commentary. When I read this today, verse 9 popped out to me: "Then He said to me, "Prophesy to the breath, prophesy, O mortal! Say to the breath: Thus said Adonai/God: Come O breath, from the four winds, and breathe into these slain, that they may live again." Not only do we need to be open to hearing the prophesy, but we, as Jews, need to come together from our different places, find a way to join our breath, our ruach, our spirit--physically, philosophically, theologically--to be able to live in our home. We need to find the commonality we have as a people in order to keep the land we call our home.

Once again I say:  "כן יהי רצון – May it be so"

Practical + Spiritual = Survival

היום שלשים ימים בעמר
Today is three days of the omer
תפארת שבחסד
A day of compassion in a week of loving kindness

I see Jewish ritual practice as fluid, a conglomerate of intersecting layers. Some layers exist in space, others in time, and still others cut through both time and space. Then there are the layers within the layers. Some divisions in space occur in one room, some across the universe. Time can be a day, a week, a month, a year, or multiple years through the millennia.

Then there is the practical vs spiritual aspect of many rituals, which can be rooted in tradition yet can change with each generation. Sometimes what seems very practical in one era would feel obsolete in another. The rituals surrounding kosher food is one example that comes to mind. I've had people explain to me how the rules of kashrut work in ancient times to keep people healthy. For example, they tell me, the clay dishes used were very porous, so not mixing milk and meat on the same plates would lessen the chance of eating spoiled food.

Giving health reasons for practicing kashrut is fine, the famous medieval Jewish commentator--and doctor--Maimonides would agree with that. But that is not the only reason to take on this practice. In the Torah, the reason for keeping kosher is so that we can approach holiness. What does that mean? Time to go to another level.

Maybe it's a way to be mindful about all aspects of what you eat--where it comes from, how it's prepared, what goes into the cooking. Eating is a very physical reminder that we are connected to other parts of the planet and need to think about the effects our intake will have on the rest of the world. And maybe we need to be reminded that nourishment includes feeding our soul as well as our body.*

My point in all this is to appreciate this multi-level Jewish practice that our ancestors have given us. Instead of kashrut, I could have written about Shabbat and the need for rest or Pesach as a way of clearing out the stale. All good ideas on a practical level. But there are always other strata in which to experience those rituals. Some work better than others for different people in different cultures in different generations.

And I think that is one reason why Judaism still exists when other peoples have not. We may be a vast, diverse tribe, but a people who can weave together the practical with the spiritual--feeding body and soul--will survive.


*For some other thoughts on the why of kosher in this era - check out this article from MyJewishLearning.com and this article from The National Jewish Outreach Program.

Equal Rights for All

היום שני ימים בעמר
Today is two days of the omer
גבורה שבחסד
A day of strength in a week of loving kindness

In July 1997, Ken was in a motorcycle accident and was taken to San Francisco General. I was working in Cupertino that day, and hightailed it up to the city as soon as I got the word. I made what was normally a 40 minute trip in under 30 minutes. When I got to the hospital, it was difficult to get information on where or how he was. It felt a bit like being in a medical TV drama--except it was real.

At the time, we were married for almost 6 years. Even though our last names are different, no one had ever questioned our statement of marriage. I think the only time we were asked to show our marriage license was when we bought our house. That day was no exception. When I was having issues finding the right people who could get me to Ken, I used the word "wife" as I had never used it before. "I'm his wife.....I'm his wife......I'm his wife" kept coming out of my mouth as I was shuttled from one place and one person to another. "You can't go there!", I heard as I started down a corridor that someone had pointed to. "Yes I can, I'm his wife" I replied.

There was never any question of my support for equal rights -- but that day made the need very concrete for me. I was able to ask questions, get people to talk to me, find Ken and see him before he went into surgery on his fractured wrist--because I was his wife. I could state it over and over again and everyone believed me. But my friends in same-sex relationships--committed, loving relationships--do not have that privilege. They can be denied access to their loved one because they couldn't use the magic words---husband, wife--that would open those doors.

Hopefully, in a few months, in California and the rest of the country, that inequality will be rectified. 

כן יהי רצון – May it be so

The cycle continues...the counting begins...

היום יום אחד בעמר
Today is the first day of the omer
חסד שבחסד
A day of loving kindness in a week of loving kindness

With all good intentions, I meant to have this wonderful introductory post all written and ready to post last night after coming home from seder and my first night of counting the omer. While I managed a tweet--a new element added to the ritual this year, I'm feeling a bit stuck and almost nervous to start the writing practice. But like the Jewish yearly holiday cycle, the time comes and the ritual begins, ready or not. And that, one could say, is the beauty of following the cycle--you learn the practice is in the doing...the rest will follow.

For those who are new to this practice, I recommend you read this article by Rabbi Jill Jacobs. It gives a good basic explanation of the ritual along with the nuts and bolts of how to perform it. It is a counting time of 49 days starting on the second day of Passover and leading to the 50th day, which is Shavuot. It is a biblical commandment which was then adapted into rabbinical Judaism.

The Kabbalists added a layer by taking the 7 Sephirot -- emanations, illuminations, attributes that connect God, the Transcendent, to humans. For a bit more on this in a dogma-free manner, read this article from David Cooper. Each day of the week is one sephirah; each week is a sephirah. In the course of 49 days we encounter every combination of a particular day in a particular week. It can serve on a conscious, guided meditation on life as we count from Pesach to Shavuot -- from liberation to revelation.

This will be the 7th year that I have added my own ritual to the practice. I pledge to write each day. What I write is up to me. There doesn't have to be a thread, although there are years I've tried that. Sometimes my theme matches the sephirot of the day, sometimes not. The writings certainly aren't always stellar--but that's not the point. There just needs to be an entry, a counting, some words to mark the day.

There are friends who come on this journey with me in one way or another. Since I post the count and a link each day on Facebook, for some it's a helpful reminder to continue their own count. Others check in the blog from time to time; others read each day--with a shout out of love to my dad, who is my most faithful reader.

This year I'm added a tweet each night with the count--although the writing will mostly take place the next day. If you'd like to get those tweets, you can find me at @mdivah  

So, welcome to Omer5773. And appreciate that we start, as always, on a day of double loving-kindness.

Not just another Shabbat

Judaism is not so much a creed as a series of concrete activities. Shabbat is a vivid spiritual experience if we make Kiddush and Havdalah and fill the space in between with traditional Shabbat activities: study, prayer, singing, dancing and festive meals. If we don’t do these things, Shabbat is just another Saturday.

                 "The Year is like a River" - September, 1996

This Shabbat is certainly not just another Saturday. This Shabbat marks four years since the passing of Rabbi Lew. I share those and other words of his, and I write these words of remembrance to honor this man whose life and teachings taught me and so many of us how the concrete activities of Jewish life can bring us the spiritual experience we seek.

One of my favorite teachings of his, one that comes up for me again and again, is his teaching from the 15th century commentator Don Isaac Abravanel in his description of the Torah, the five books of Moses, as a blueprint for a spiritual life. This teaching echoes the path of Rabbi Lew's life, as well as holding the gifts that he brought us.

Bereshit - Genesis, the stories of our tribal origins, represents the personal spiritual seeking, ending in a leave-taking. Rabbi Lew’s personal spiritual journey is well known, and we were lucky that his path led him here. For he was able to reach out and speak to the spiritual seeker in all of us.  And he was able to show us how the rich traditions of Jewish ritual can act as signposts along the way.

Shemot - Exodus, our formation as a spiritual nation, represents revelation—hearing the words and concepts that will guide our lives and form our community. Through his teachings, Rabbi Lew brought us different meanings and interpretations of those words and concepts, showing us that revelation is not a one-time event of ecstasy, but something that can enrich our daily lives.

Which brings me to Vayikra - Leviticus, the nuts and bolts of the practice. Rabbi Lew was never one to water down practice simply to make it easier to follow. Instead, he inspired us to look to the deeper meanings, opening up the rituals in ways that made us want to participate as fully as we could.

Daily minyan is the modern version of the single lamb our ancestors offered up every morning and every evening. Praying every day we come to know the full range of human spiritual potential; from transcendent exaltation to stultifying boredom; from the frustration of not quite knowing what we're saying to the joy of being swept up in a spiritual energy larger than our own. Praying every day with others we get a very real sense of how difficult it is to join in real communion with others, and how wonderful it feels when we finally manage to do so; praying every day with others we come to explore that tenuous boundary between self and other which is always the real locus of the spiritual experience.

           “The Minyan is for Your Sake” – November 1996

Bamidbar - Numbers, the forging of community as we wander for 40 years, is about bringing the practice into our lives. And that is where, I think, our debt of gratitude to Rabbi Lew is at its greatest. For he made it his mission to share with all of us his love of Judaism and the deep spiritual sense it has brought to his life. That's what made his sermons so special—he didn’t just talk about the practice, he lived it. He didn’t just teach about the benefits of meditating, he was there at 6 a.m. He didn’t just preach the importance of keeping our minyan vibrant, he participated fully. He kept looking for ways to reach us all.

As a case in point, I looked to one of my favorite sermons of his, one given Rosh Hashanah 5760, in 1999. It's a sermon that demonstrates why we will always be filled with respect and love and honor for Rabbi Lew.

He first sets a scene of a news crew filming meditation—"Apparently, this is a thing of great amazement – a bunch of Jews sitting in the room without talking; quick,  get the cameras! Let's run this on the 6 o'clock news." They also film minyan. His description of minyan focuses on the time-honored Beth Sholom tradition of saying "Yasher Koach" – loosely translated, may the force be with you -- to everyone who participates in the slightest manner. Why do we do this? Rabbi Lew said: "We are congratulating you because of all the places you could have put your energy in this world, of all the forces you could have aligned your force with, you freely chose to be here, to put your energy here, to align yourself with the three thousand year old stream of spiritual energy we call Judaism"

Later in the sermon, Rabbi Lew goes on to relate that "Yasher Koach" moment to a moment in this country that demonstrated that same spiritual achievement — that moment in 1995 when Cal Ripken, shortstop for the Baltimore Orioles, played in 2,131 straight games, breaking Lou Gherig's record. Rabbi Lew understood that this achievement of being present and showing up each day made the difference in a world that doesn't always show up as we would wish. Rabbi Lew said "simple human presence – simply being present, simply persisting in being here – has tremendous spiritual power, It has the power to heal. It has the power to nurture."

Which brings us to Devarim - Deuteronomy, Moshe's last words to the people he has guided through the desert. I never heard Rabbi Lew mention Devarim in his Abravanel teaching, so one day I asked him what part of living a spiritual life did that book represent? He answered, “Devarim is about preparing for one’s death.”

Rabbi Lew left us too soon, but in the life he led, he understood that recognizing our mortality is an integral part of living a full life. And we have many of his teachings on this, as he spoke and wrote about Yom Kippur, the day in Jewish practice when we look to the meaning of death in our life. As he wrote in This is Real and You are Completely Unprepared:

This is the only life we have, and we all will lose it. No one gets out alive, but to lose nobly is a beautiful thing. To know the core of our being is to move beyond winning and losing.

It is to enter that moment where life is deep and rich and God is present for us. We all lose, some of us nobly, and all of us with a certain amount of tragedy. But as Rabbi Zimmerman (a.k.a. Bob Dylan) reminds us, “there’s no success like failure,” and any loss that carries us closer to the core of life is no loss at all.

Zichrono L’Vracha

His memory, living on in his teachings, is a blessing

"The river of life is inexorable. It will carry us to the end no matter what we do. Our activities, Jewish or otherwise, are unlikely to effect the outcome very much at all. But they can effect the quality of  the experience very deeply – in fact, they can transform it”

Hazon adventure begins...

היום שלשה ושלשים יום שהם ארבעה שבועות וחמשה ימים לעומר
Today is thirty-three days of the omer
הוד שבהוד
A day of humility in a week of humility

And so, my Hazon adventure begins. Not much writing to be done right now--other work needs to be done. I hope to make up for it with longer posts later.

Zichrono L'vracha - Joseph Salem

היום שנים ושלשים יום שהם ארבעה שבועות וארבעה ימים לעומר
Today is thirty-two days, which is four weeks and four days of the omer
נצח שבהוד
A day of perseverance in a week of humility

There are many joys involved in being a part of a multigenerational community, but along with that comes sharing in the sorrows. Today marked the burial of a wonderful man, Joe Salem, who passed away on Sunday at the age of 89. Joe was a loyal member of the Beth Sholom minyan community for many years. He was there when I began attending in November of 2000 until a couple of years ago when his Alzheimers kept him confined to a home. He had a loving family--his wife of 62 years, a daughter and 2 sons, 5 grandchildren who he adored.

Being a part of daily minyan meant he became part of our family as well. When his health began to fail and he could no longer drive, we organized rides for him so he could still attend. And for some years after that became untenable, his son brought him to this place that was a comfort to him--a place that, even with the onset of his dementia, he felt at peace and could still follow and participate in the rituals. A strong, elegant yet quiet man, he had a wonderful sense of humor that would manifest in one line zingers that would make us all smile.

Zichrono l'vracha -- his memory is a blessing to his families--those related by blood as well as those related by community. We all hold him in our hearts.

One for the Ages.....

היום אחד ושלשים יום שהם ארבעה שבועות ושלשה ימים לעומר
Today is thirty-one days, which is four weeks and three days of the omer
תפארת שבהוד
A day of compassion in a week of humility

Maurice Sendak may be gone in body, but his spirit will live forever in his books. They will be read and read and read again by children and adults for years, decades, I dare say maybe centuries to come. He is one for the ages....

In The Night Kitchen was the first book of his I read, and remains one of my favorites.

Still Crazy After All These Years....

היום שלשים יום שהם ארבעה שבועות ושני ימים לעימר

Today is thirty days, which is four weeks and two days of the omer

גבורה שבהוד

A day of strength in a week of humility

On Friday, I wrote about reconnecting with my college roommate--and today, our first meeting in over 30 years took place. And while we had huge gaps in our lives that we had to catch up with, the comfort level of being with Elaine was amazing. We may have journeyed away for each other, but there is a psychic energy that must have kept us close, although we didn't know it :)

There are communities and friendships that you need to leave behind. Sometimes following a fork in the road of life brings separation. But then there is a time when the paths converge, for whatever reason, and you get to rediscover a friendship that is worth keeping.

The practice of learning Hebrew

היום תשעה ועשרים יום שהם ארבעה שהבועות ויום אחד לעומר
Today is twenty-nine days, which is four weeks and one day of the omer
חסד שבהוד
A day of loving kindness in a week of humility

I just got back from Hebrew class--a definite lesson in humility for a type A personality who is used to being the smart girl in class. I need to let in some loving kindness for myself to fight the frustration. Now in my third year of studying with Anat Wolins of Yad Moshe, there is more light coming in that when I first started. I'm getting better and better at writing, and can express myself in essays without constantly going to the dictionary. The speaking is still difficult. I am often among Israelis, and yet will not let on that I know enough Hebrew to converse--it's just too stressful. But I can read with more comprehension than ever before, which is what is important to me. And the speaking will come...I just need to be patient, and treat learning Hebrew like the rest of my practices---day by day, it will come.

Mah Jongg Circles

היום שמונה ועשרים יום שהם ארבעה שבועות לעומר
Today is twenty-eight days, which is four weeks of the omer
מלכות שבנצח
A day of majesty in a week of perseverance

I end this week with mah jongg--a community that has both interior and exterior circle on the Venn diagram of my life. The inner circles are the 3 different groups I play with. The circles don't intersect, but they are all nested two other circles.

One is my Jewish circle. I was invited to play mah jongg because I was New York Jew who liked to play games--I was a good fit for the group. And it just so happens that all the women I play with are Jewish.

The other is the circle that holds anyone who plays National Mah Jongg League mah jongg. No matter how different a person may be from me, this is a bond we will have, an identity we share as a mah jongg player.

These circles epitomize how communities are our connections to the world. Our lives are local and global. But if we can teach our children the importance of being a part of different communities, to foster these local and global connections, the next generations will be better prepared to work together. They will know to look at all the intersections of their Venn Diagrams, and use those common points to build a foundation of peace.