Breaking the Silence

When I stopped writing this blog, I figured that no one would really notice. But there have been more than a few people in the last few months who have asked why I've stopped posting. I wish I had a good explanation--I don't. It's not like I haven't had anything to say, I just chose not to share my thoughts. But I realize that I felt better emotionally and spiritually when when I wrote regularly. With Nisan starting next week marking another Jewish New Year, it seems like a good time to start.

And, of course, it's time for baseball.............

Sharing the Joy of the Season

I don't live close enough to my family to celebrate Hanukkah with them. My husband is not Jewish, so although he has been known to participate in some celebrations he doesn't really share in them. But I do not celebrate alone this season, and last night was an example of how the joy is spread.

Kenny Altman and I were invited to the Sequoias-an assisted living complex in San Francisco-by Hilda Richards-a long time congregant of Beth Sholom-to lead a Hanukkah celebration. This was a return engagement, as we led a Passover seder there this past April. Many of the participants brought their hanukkiahs, and we started the program with candle lighting. We then led some spirited singing of various Hanukkah songs. I gave a little talk about Hanukkah, speaking from the heart about how the rituals of our Jewish practice keeps us in touch with the the cycle of the seasons as well as giving us a way to renew an awareness of ourselves and our place in the world. I talked about Hanukkah as our culture's, our tribe's version of bringing light to a time of darkness. I also brought up the theme of dedication--the actual meaning of the world Hanukkah--as a reminder to look at where we need to dedicate our hearts and minds.

It was a short program--just a half-hour, but it was nice to share the time with these people who, while I don't know them personally, are part of my greater community. Their voices, their smiles, their spirits feed my soul.

Then it was off to the Beth Sholom community celebration held at the Jewish Community High School. Here, I was able to party with my "mishpachah," my extended family. We had latkes and music and dancing. The kids prepared a little play and a dance performance. There were more than a few little ones who were celebrating their first Hanukkah of their lives. They won't remember this, but we will remember for them. The room was filled with joy.

Recently, I was asked why do I involve myself in Beth Sholom and the greater Jewish community to the extent that I do--what do I get from it. I think of last night and I know the answer.

For today gift, here's a song from one of my favorite songwriters, Tom Lehrer--with a bonus feature at the end. Enjoy....

The NBA learns about Hanukkah

Hmmm, no, there are not a lot of Jewish professional basketball players. Let's face it, we are not, by and large, a tall people......

Happy Hanukkah

Nothing like Hanukkah to give me a kick-start on my writing. It's not like I haven't had any thoughts to share--I just haven't gotten out of my head to the screen. But writing each day, sending you little virtual "gifts" for the holiday will hopefully give me the momentum I need.

To start the holiday off right, there's nothing like Adam Sandler's "Hanukkah Song." I found lots of versions online, but opted for what I think is the original airing of the song. It is destined to become a classic. Enjoy!!

We now return to our regularly scheduled blog.....

I know, it's been a while and I apologize to any regular readers I may still have.

It's been a bit of an internally quiet time for me. I'm still working on clearing my clutter--physical, mental, spiritual. But I am missing my writing practice so I'm back on the blogging path.

I can see that some features have been added to Blogger while I've been away, and I need to see if they can add any value to your reading and viewing experience. So thank you for your patience with me. I will try to write more often to make up for the delay.

Words to Live By

Feeling tired and a bit cranky, I decided not to go to minyan this morning. I stayed in bed longer than usual listening to Morning Edition on KALW. And while I missed the sounding of the shofar, I got to hear this week's edition of StoryCorps.

Antoinette Franklin and her niece, Iriel, former New Orleans residents and survivors of Katrina, speak from the heart of the effect of that tragedy on their lives. But through the pain, Antoinette speaks of what she gained:

"I've learned that love and family and faith are more important than anything else in the whole world. I used to say it, but now I've experienced it."

In this month of Elul as we look for Teshuvah, a turning in our lives, I encourage you to read this story and the others you will find on the StoryCorps page at NPR. There you will find the Teshuvah others found in their lives that can inspire you to look towards your own.

Turning and Returning

We are now in the month of Elul, the final month of the Jewish calendar, a month of introspection and contemplation culminating in Rosh Hashonah and the Days of Awe.

This is the time in Jewish yearly cycle that Jews are asked to focus on Teshuvah--a word often translated as repentance, but one that actually means return. It is a time to look back over the past years, reflect on the actions of your life and see what can be turned towards building and, often, rebuilding a better future. The break down to the depth of the soul began at Tisha b'Av. Now is the time to set the cornerstone for the coming year.

Teshuvah is a very personal, individual endeavor. Each person must decide each year what work needs to be done. For me, this year is a time to finish the transition forced upon me with my cancer diagnosis, and fully accept and embrace the opportunities this phase of my life has to offer. I am trying to rid myself of the clutter I have accumulated these past 5 years, of clutter both material and emotional. I am trying to clear my house of unnecessary possessions that just take up space and clear my mind of fearful thoughts that hold me back.

Each morning of Elul the shofar is sounded, not a call to arms but a call to peace--a peace within our hearts and soul. May we all find a way to turn to that peace and carry it with us into the new year.

Sports Miracles - large and small

Like many professional endeavors, sports of all kinds have become huge, global businesses. Fans all over the world are complaining about the high costs of tickets and the astronomically high salaries paid to the players. Many people yearn for the "more innocent" sporting experiences of their youth. If you have any doubt of this, just read the comments sent in to the BBC program (or, in British English, programme) Have Your Say aired this past Sunday.

Then there's the pressure on the players themselves that manifests in many ways. And it's not just about steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs. Other problems these players may face become amplified when they are surrounded with people who just care about money and fame, not the person who needs help. I gave some example of this in postings two years ago, The Hard Reality of Sports and It's not just steroids . . .

There is a tendency to look at times past nostalgically, with rose-colored glasses. There has always been a dark side to professional sports. It was just on a smaller scale with much less public access. And our present times can also bring us an upside to sports, on both local and global levels.

A week or so ago, Iraq won the Asian Cup in soccer, beating Saudi Arabia 1 - 0. A country being destroyed by sectarian violence had a brief moment of unity in support of their national team--a team that includes Sunni, Shia, and Kurd. Sadly, the celebration came to an end with the news of the death of 50 people with bombs detonated in Baghdad by insurgents. But at least, like the 1914 Christmas Truce between the Germans and the European Allies that resulted in the famous soccer match between the trenches, there was a moment of joy that could be shared by all sides.

In my own corner of the world, there is the story of the Oakland Royals, a baseball team started by an Oakland couple to keep their kids and others away from the crossfire of a neighborhood notoriously known for drug dealing and drive-by shootings. Roscoe Bryant and his wife Lehi had no budget or coaching experience but they managed to field two teams. Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle picked up on the story and due to an article he wrote on June 22 of this year, more than 600 people, organizations and clubs came through with all sorts of support.

Ostler wrote a follow-up column published in today's sports section chronicling the accomplishments of this organization due to that show of support from the community. The help that has come in the form of donations, contacts with local companies and links to various grants and loans has encouraged the Bryants to enlarge their dream. They now hope to be able to open a youth center.

There was one more outcome of the establishment of these teams--something no one could have envisioned. "The local drug dealers watched what we've been doing," Roscoe says, "and they formed their own softball team. So they're off the block for a couple hours every night."

Some moments of violence stopped in streets of Baghdad and in the streets of Oakland. May we find ways to string more of those moments together to create a world of peace.

Some Devarim on Devarim

I'd like to blame the lag in writing this week on the amount of Torah I've been chanting these weeks. The time I would usually spend on the blog has been devoted to practice. But I'm taking a few moments here for some words--devarim--on Devarim/Deuteronomy, the last book of the Torah that's now at the forefront.

Basically, Devarim is one long sermon--Moshe pouring his heart and soul out to these people he's lead for forty years. It's his last chance to speak with them--they're going on to "the Land," he is not. So while some people find it repetitious and preachy, I'm drawn to the emotion behind the words and the directness of the language.

Chanting the Hebrew, I'm very aware of Moshe speaking to you--you, the people and you, each individual. There's not much of the standard "God spoke to Moses and said...." that you get in Bamidbar/Numbers. It's more like "God told you, God showed you, God will guide you." Moshe wants us all to hear, to listen, to understand. It's no coincidence that the Shema--the prayer closest to our hearts and souls, is first spoken in Devarim.

Yes, there is a lot of fire and brimstone--and a lot of "If you don't obey...."; the consequences are grave and long-lasting. But the covenant assures that we are not forsaken. There's always a path back with guidance along the way, using Torah as our map.

Devarim is the book that draws me in. I can remove myself from the stories--it's about them in that time, not me, now. But in Devarim, Moshe speaks to me--I am part of the "you." Reading it at this time of the year helps prepare me for the reflection of Elul and the reckoning of the High Holidays. And as I continue to study, it brings me new personal spiritual insights that I then bring to the next yearly cycle.

Musical Star-bucks?

Joni Mitchell, an artist who has been dear to my heart for more than thirty years, has signed a deal with Starbucks.

From the AP story off her website:

NEW YORK: Joni Mitchell is following the lead of Paul McCartney in joining with the coffee giant Starbucks to release her comeback album.

Hear Music, a record label formed in partnership with Starbucks Corp. and the Concord Music Group, said Wednesday that Mitchell is its second signing. "Shine," her first album of new compositions since 1998, will be released on Sept. 25.

McCartney's album "Memory Almost Full" came out last month and was played relentlessly at Starbucks franchises, where listeners could purchase it with their coffee. The disc has sold 447,000 copies, 45 percent of them in Starbucks stores, the company said.

The new venture has attracted interest from veteran artists both because the music business is collapsing around them, and their fans are much more likely to be spending time in Starbucks these days than in music stores.

Mitchell worked with Hear Music two years ago as it released a disc of favorite Mitchell songs selected by various artists. She had essentially retired from making music and said this project was one of the things that rekindled her interest, said Ken Lombard, president of Starbucks Entertainment.

I have mixed feelings about this. I understand the reasoning and I know that Joni would never give up the most important thing--creative control of her work. And as I pointed out earlier this month, this is a coffee culture generation, so this signing represents a huge opportunity for her music to be heard. But the fact that she's aligned with Starbucks just strikes a bitter chord within me.

I'm not rabidly anti-Starbucks, but I hate the way they have become the McDonalds/Burger King of coffee shops. They are everywhere, peddling their (in my opinion) sub-par coffee and all-too-sickly sweet faux coffee drinks to a nation already overfilled with bad food and sugar. There's a one-block stretch on 7th Avenue in Manhattan that has three Starbucks--one on each corner and one in the middle of the block--all on the same side of the street! And like the other fast food venues, they're infiltrating the rest of the world. I've seen Starbucks in Wellington, New Zealand and Sydney, Australia.

It's hard to imagine Joni Mitchell associating with Starbucks. I think of her as such an independent artist, always going her own way. Starbucks represents the worst of globalization to me, an example of the mass cloning of culture, a forerunner of a Fahrenheit 451 kind of world. Yes, I exaggerate somewhat, but the echos are there.

All this said, I'm sure I will buy the cd, just as I occasionally find myself getting coffee at Starbucks. They are not the evil empire, and I know they do give support to many good causes, both local and global. The times are changing, and I must move with the times or get left behind.

I'll end this with a clip from a 1970 Joni Mitchell performance of "Big Yellow Taxi"and ask a question I've seen in other blogs -- does this mean it's okay to pave paradise and put up a coffee shop?

(For a recent performance of this song by Joni Mitchell which includes a Bob Dylan impersonation, click here.)

Breaking Down to Build Up

Tisha b'Av, the fast day on the Jewish sacred calendar that commemorates the destruction of both the First and Second Temples, as well as other calamities that have befallen the Jewish People, starts this evening at sundown. For my teacher Rabbi Alan Lew, it begins the period of preparation for the Days of Awe, the High Holidays of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. In his book, This is Real and You are Completely Unprepared, he writes:

"Tisha B'Av comes exactly seven weeks before Rosh Hashanah, beginning the process that culminates on Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Tisha b'Av is the moment of turning, the moment when we turn away from denial and begin to face exile and alienation as they manifest themselves in our own lives -- in our alienation and estrangement from God, in our alienation from ourselves and from others. Teshuvah -- turning, repentance -- is the essential gesture of the High Holiday season. It is the gesture by which we seek to heal this alienation and to find at-one-ment; to connect with God, to reconcile with others, and to anchor ourselves in the ground of our actual circumstances, so that it is this reality that shapes our actions and not just the habitual, unconscious momentum of our lives."(41-42)

This idea of starting this gesture of turning, of looking to strengthen one's foundation out of a moment of destruction resonates with me this year. I feel the rebuilding process in both body and soul coming out of the five year transition from my bout with cancer. What I have learning in those years, about myself and others, will serve as my foundation as I move forward in my life.

I also think there are times it is necessary to break down walls in order to rebuild. My friend Tannis asked me to talk about the significance of the breaking of the glass at her wedding last year. Along with some more traditional explanations, I proposed that the glass breaking represents the destruction of the last bit of wall between the couple, creating an opening that they can walk through together on this new journey together.

Tisha b'Av remind us of the need to break down those stagnant parts of our lives in order to create an opening to fill with our teshuvah. To quote Rabbi Lew once more:

"Tisha B'Av is the beginning of Teshuvah, the process of turning that we hope to compete on Yom Kippur, the process of returning to ourselves and to God. And t he acknowledgment of the unresolved in our lives, as a people and as individuals, is the beginning of the sacred power the Days of Awe grant us -- to transform our lives in his moment when we feel the pull of both the waning moon and the setting sun; in this place, in this life, here and now." (50)

May all who are fasting have an easy fast, and, through the breaking down, may you each find your opening.

Shaken up on Tisha b'Av, in Body & Soul

Early this morning we experienced an earthquake. Reports are that it was not too powerful, centered in Oakland on the Hayward fault, with a magnitude of 4.2. (For those who need a reference, the 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake had a magnitude of 7.1) It was a big enough jolt to wake us up at a quarter to five this morning.

The last quake I felt was August one year ago. That quake was less powerful but memorable because it took place on the evening of Tisha b'Av--the time when Jews mourn the destruction of the First and Second Temples as well as other dark times in our history. I was at Ner Tamid, participating in the evening service, preparing to chant Eicha, Lamentations.

This morning's quake is in that same time in the Jewish calendar. We are presently in the three-week reflective period that starts with the 17th of Tammuz and ends with Tisha b'Av, which begin this year at sundown on Monday, July 23rd.

For two years in a row, an earthquake is linked to Tisha b'Av. Today as I prepared for my chanting of the haftarah for Tisha b'Av morning--most of it chanted in the same mournful trope used for Lamentations--I was struck by the much too appropriateness of the first few verses:

I will utterly consume them, says Adonai;
there are no grapes on the vine,
nor figs on the fig-tree,
and the leaf is faded;
Whatever I have given them is gone.

"Why do we sit still?
Let us gather into the fortified cities,
and meet our doom there,
for Adonai our God has doomed us,
made us drink a bitter draft,
because we have sinned against Adonai.
We looked for peace, but no good came;
for a time of healing, and behold terror!'

The snorting of their horses is heard from Dan;
at the sound of the neighing of his steeds
the whole land quaked;
They came and devoured the land and what was in it,
The towns and those who dwelt in them.

Jeremiah 8:13 - 16

Once again, the teachings of our ancients bring us messages we can use today. No, I don't believe that God brought us an earthquake because we were bad, but the link that gives us to the words of Jeremiah should get our attention. One more reminder of the need to be mindful of the consequences when we mistreat our world and the people we share it with. The killing, both of our environment and of our fellow inhabitants, must stop. To this end, the haftarah concludes with words of help and hope and guidence toward a rightful path:

Thus said Adonai:
Let not the wise glory in wisdom;
Let not the strong glory in strength;
Let not the rich glory in riches.
There should be just one glory,
An earnest devotion to Me.
I, Adonai, act with kindness, justice, and equality in the world.
In these I delight--says Adonai....

Jeremiah 9:22 - 23