Sefirot Circles

היום שנים ועשרים יום שהם שלשה שבועות ויום אחד לעמר
Today is twenty-two days, which is three weeks and one day, of the omer
חסד שבנצח
A day of loving kindness in a week of perseverance

Ein Sof and the Ten Sefirot
David Friedman
www.kosmic-kabbalah.com

I love this image of the Sefirot as concentric circles. There is much depth, and the feeling of infinity. There's movement to the center of the round, as well as a flowing outward, making a continuous tube of the Sefirot. The container for this tube is the white  אינ סוף - the Ein Sof, that without end.

This is how I'm beginning to see my spiritual center. For the past ten years, that center was housed in a very concrete place that held the framework of my rituals. My teacher also resided there, bringing deep meaning to the structure of the practice.

That building is still there, helping me maintain the practice. The community contained within will still be there, I hope, to support the practice. But my spiritual center must live within me, moving to the center of my personal circle. And I must travel out through the tube of Sefirot, the tube of life, to find nourishment for my soul, and to help feed others.

Holding Past, Present, & Future

היום אחד ועשרים יום שהם שלשה שבועות לעמר
Today is twenty-one days, which is three weeks, of the omer
מלכות שבתפארת
A day of majesty in a week of compassion

Nine of the fourteen videos I've been working on are now done and delivered. With the decrease in my workload I'm able to participate in the yoga immersion this week given by my teacher, Susannah Bruder, at her studio on Portrero Hill, Yoga Sita. This time it's a group of seven students practicing together each morning from 7 a.m. to 9:30 a.m. Along with the physical, asana practice we also spend some time at the end of each session learning and discussion the philosophy of yoga.

This week we are looking at some of the Yoga Sutras, the foundational text of yoga. Susannah has asked us to look at the third chapter of the Sutras which focuses on the capabilities of the mind. Several of the Sutras focus on developing a state of concentration of the mind. In my first read this evening, I was drawn to the sixteenth Sutra of the chapter, which says that bringing Samyama--concentration and meditation--to the process of change and time brings in knowledge of the past and the future. Once again, I experience a convergence of my Jewish, Yoga, and meditation practices.

When I teach Torah, whether it's to adults or adolescents, I always talk about the timelessness of the text and it's teachings. The beauty of true sacred texts is that they are able to speak to each generation in its time. That is how they have remained relevant for thousands of years, and will continue to be relevant for thousands of years to come.

When I teach meditation, I always talk about the importance of being in the present moment. The present moment is a container for all moments, for the time past has a part in this moment and this moment will be a part of the time to come.

It also came to mind on this day of majesty, this day that I am looking at through the lens of leadership,  that a good leader needs to hold the past and look to the future while making the best decisions for the present. A difficult balancing act, but necessary to be able to lead with clarity.

My Two Trees

היום עשרים יום שהם שני שבועות וששה ימים לעמר
Today is twenty days, which is two weeks and six days, of the omer
יסוד שבתפארת
A day of foundation in a week of compassion

I know this doesn't look like much, but amidst the dry dirt are two tree sprouts. Written on the back of this photo--"My two trees." These are the trees I planted in Israel during my United Synagogue Youth Pilgrimage trip in the summer of 1971. I can still remember the pride I felt, planting them with my own hands.

At that time, Israel was a place where I belonged. When George Wallace was running for president in 1968, I remember very consciously thinking that if he became president, I was going to Israel. I was not going to wait for "them" to come for me. Yes, I was an American, but as a Jew I knew that could be a tenuous connection--the German Jews were German, but ultimately they were considered "other." But as long as there was an Israel, I had a home.


Fast forward 40 years, and Israel is not a place where I belong. It's a sad irony that the one place where it once felt totally safe to be a Jew does not now support my Jewish practice--solely due to my gender. I have huge issues with the government's treatment of Israeli Arabs and the policies regarding the Palestinians.

My feelings towards Israel are so complicated, and for many years I felt alone as I held my thoughts. And then in September of 2009, I read an article in The Forward by Jay Michaelson entitled, "How I'm Losing My Love For Israel." Finally--someone who felt as I did, who understood being squeezed by all sides of the issues, and then needing to factor in those personal, inner feelings of unrest about what is happening and where, if at all, I fit in. As Michaelson concludes:

In my heart, I still love the stones and trees of Jerusalem, even though I know that love is sentimental, problematic and shared with people I mistrust. I am still awed by the tkuma, the resurrection and rebirth of my ancient people. And, yes, I feel like underscoring, I still support the State of Israel, its right to exist and the rest. Most important, it is still, in part, my home.
But especially on this side of the ocean, more and more of those who feel similarly have politics, agendas and overall experiences of Israel very different from mine. What they love is not what I love, and how they love is terrifying. And so while my love endures, my unease grows, and with it, the gnawing sense that this relationship is in trouble.

On this day of יום העצמאות - Yom Ha'Atzma-ut - Israel Independence day, I understand how important it is for Israel to survive as a nation and to guard the heritage of the Jewish people. But as things stand now it can not be my home. Knowing that makes me very sad.

Mom-entos

היום תשאה עשר יום שהם שני שבועת וחמשה ימים לעמר
Today is nineteen days, which is two weeks and five days of the omer
חוד שבתפארת

A day of humility in a week of compassion

This is my baby cap and blanket
that my mom recently gave to me.
She saved them all these years.
Because that's what moms do....

Happy Mother's Day, Mom

Love,

Marilyn

Fighters for Freedom

היום שמונה עשר יום שהם שני שבועות וארבעה ימים לעמר

Today is eighteen days, which is two weeks and four days, of the omer

נצח שבתפארת

A day of perseverance in a week of compassion

Today is the "chai," the life, of the count, converging with Shabbat.
On this day I honor those who gave of their lives so others could live in freedom.

Eric Anderson wrote this song to honor the Freedom Riders, who set off 50 years ago this month to work towards righting something very wrong. And whatever problems we still have today, I have to say--updating the last words of these lyrics--"Their song, it did not fail"

On this day of perseverance and compassion, thanks to all of those who continually walked, rode, and fought to make a difference.

One Day ...

היום שבעה עשר יום שהם שני שבועות ושלשה ימים לעמר
Today is seventeen days, which is two weeks and three days, of the omer
תפראת שבתפארת
A day of compassion in a week of compassion


With all that's happened in the world this week, this month, this year,
On this day of compassion holding compassion
I share this prayer...





Shabbat Shalom

Blessing, Breathing, Moving through

היום ששה עשר יום שהם שני שבועת ושני ימים לעמר

Today is sixteen days, which is two weeks and two days, of the omer

גבורה שבתפארת

A day of strength in a week of compassion

The Jewish prayer of "Kaddish" is a prayer of transition. In one form, it moves us through the different section of our services; in another, it moves us through our rituals of mourning. It is a prayer of praise.

I see it as a prayer of pause, like the holds, the spaces between the in-breath and out; the out-breath and in. A moment when the past and future converge in the present. It is no wonder that the following Marge Piercy poem, from her book The Art of Blessing the Day, speaks to me.

Kaddish

Look around us, search above us, below, behind.

We stand in a great web of being joined together.

Let us praise, let us love the life we are lent

passing through us in the body of Israel

and our own bodies, let's say amein.

Time flows through us like water.

The past and the dead speak through us.

We breathe out our children's children, blessing.

Blessed is the earth from which we grow,

blessed the life we are lent,

blessed the ones who teach us,

blessed the ones we teach,

blessed is the word that cannot say the glory

that shines through us and remains to shine

flowing past distant suns on the way to forever.

Let's say amein.

blessed is light, blessed is darkness,

but blessed above all else is peace

which bears the fruits of knowledge

on strong branches, let's say amein.

Peace that bears joy into the world,

peace that enables love, peace over Israel

everywhere, blessed and holy is peace, let's say amein.

Chodesh Tov on this first day of Iyar

Life Recipe

היום חמשה עשר יום שהם שני שבועות ויום אחד לעמר

Today is fifteen days, which is two weeks and one day, of the omer

חסד שבתפארת

A day of loving kindness in a week of compassion

Practice and balance in life seems to be the emerging themes of this year's omer period. One more thing I'd like to add to the mix is being able to stay in the present moment, releasing the baggage of the past--not wishing for nor fearing the future.

One of my favorite writings on presence is in Ed Brown's Tassajara Coooking. He may be talking about planning a meal, but it is a metaphor for life.

Nothing left in the kitchen but a few odds and ends you have to dig out of the refrigerator? Faced with unlimited choice in a market? Either way, you have to take what's there. At first you dread it. Later you come to enjoy it.

Respond to each thing, each vegetable, each situation. More and more, start with what is actually there instead of with some pre-conceived notion. This is how a cook's real creativity and confidence are developed. Learning to tolerate more, to appreciate more, we learn to cook the way we want to, and to cook for others also.

Balancing Act

היום ארבעה עשר יום שהם שני שבועות לעמר

Today is fourteen days, which is two weeks, of the omer

מלכות שבגבורה

A day of majesty in a week of strength

As I start the third week of the omer the count is going well but the writing practice is challenging. I'm in a very busy work period at the moment. Three projects that were slated to happen one after the other all converged to be happening at the same time. I don't want to complain, especially in these hard economic times. But I'm only one person and there are only so many hours in a day, only so many days in a week. I'm managing to keep everyone happy and on schedule, although it is at the expense of my rest time and the time spent on this writing practice.

Which brings up the issue of practice in one's life--how to set priorities, how to find balance. I work in a business that can be 24/7, depending on the specifics of the job. When I began to take on Jewish practice, Shabbat was the first observance I took on. It was interesting to watch my non-Jewish clients be very respectful of my stand to not work on Saturdays, while the Jews couldn't figure out why I was keeping to what they considered to be an anachronistic ritual. But it felt good to stop each week no matter what was happening around me--to make a stand for my time to pray, to rest, to revitalize--body and soul.

This practice of blogging the omer is not as concrete as keeping kosher or not working on Shabbat. It is a practice that is particular to me, not a tribal custom. Yet it has its own importance and needs to be honored. And so I carve out some time during the day to write, time that could and maybe should be spent on other things that would be more productive and/or more lucrative.

Keeping to a practice has its own rewards that are not always apparent in the moment. That is certainly true during this omer period. I can say that I am learning that finding balance is not always dependent on equality of time. It's more like the balance of a board on a point--its balance come from equal weight on each side. But sometimes, when the weight is unequal, you just need to move the fulcrum.

Prayer of Thanks, Support, and Hope

היום שלשה עשר יום שהם שבוע אחד וששה יומים לעמר

Today is thirteen days, which is one week and six days, of the omer

יסוד שבגבורה

A day of foundation in a week of strength

This is an important date to mark--the day President Obama confirmed the death of Osama Ben Laden. It will be known as an historically defining moment for the US--a true "Mission Accomplished," not the one staged by President Bush in 2003.

While I now mark this date in this blog, I have no thoughts to share about what has happened. I have no special insight into what this means in the US, in the World--now, and going forward. What I do feel is the need for a prayer; a prayer of thanks, a prayer of support, a prayer of peace. And I've found a prayer to share in Hours of Devotion, a book of prayers by Fanny Neuda, first published in its original German 1854. In 2007, Dinah Berland these prayers and adapted to verse with heart and soul into English.

Here are two verses of Fanny & Dinah's "For the Leaders of Our Country:"

Bless the honored servants of our country,

The officials and advisors

Who stand at our leader's side,

So that all that passes through their hands

For the nation's benefit might thrive.

Let no turmoil rattle the gates of our land

And let no evil intentions disturb it.

Rather, let only love and trust

Come to those who govern.

Support and further their noble efforts.

May your blessing and mercy

Be with all those who serve our country,

Whether they serve with their might or their minds--

Those who uphold the law, those who spread truth,

Those who further knowledge, those who attend to art,

Those who preserve the peace, and those

Who increase our country's honor and well-being.

Send your heavenly blessing to them all,

So they might receive just reward for their efforts.

May joy and good fortune accompany their steps

And guide the work of their hands for their welfare

And for the well-being of us all. Amen

כן יהי רצון

May it be so

We Are Here

היום שנים עשר יום שהם שבוע אחד וחמשה יומים לעמר

Today is twelve days, which is one week and five days, of the omer

חוד שבגבורה

A day of humility in a week of strength

Today, on Yom HaShoah, I share this poem by Hirsch Glick, written in the Vilna Ghetto. I was drawn to this poem the first time I read it. It wasn't until years later that I discovered these were the words to the song that was a rallying cry for the Jewish Partisans. You can hear it sung in the original Yiddish on the website of the Jewish Partisan Educational Foundation. Click on the Explore tab to access a menu, and click on Films. At the end first film listed, "Introduction to Jewish Partisans" The song is at the end but please, watch the film, and share it with the next generations. Their strength is a testament to the fact that yes, despite all odds, "We are still here."

Never say that there is only death for you,
Though leaden skies may be concealing days of blue,
Because the hour we have hungered for is near;
Beneath our tread the earth shall tremble,
We are here!

From land of palm-trees to the far-off land of snow,
We shall be coming with our torment and our woe,
And wherever our blood was shed in pain
Our strength and courage shall spring forth once again.

We'll have the morning sun to set our day a-glow,
And all our yesterdays shall vanish with the foe,
And if the time is long before the sun appears
Then let this song go like a signal through the years.

This song was written with our blood and not with pen;
It's not a song that summer birds sing overhead,
It was a people among toppling barricades,
That sang this song of ours with guns in their hands.

Never say that there is only death for you,
Though leaden skies may be concealing days of blue,
Because the hour we have hungered for is near;
Beneath our tread the earth shall tremble,
We are here!

---- Hirsh Glick(1922-1944)

Invisible, Intangible

היום אחד עשר יום שהם שבוע אחד וארבעה יומים לעמר

Today is the eleven days, which is one week and four days, of the omer

נצח שבגבורה

A day of perseverance in a week of strength

A couple of days ago I mentioned that I teach Torah to 7th graders. We start each class with a short period of meditation. While I teach them the breath centered practice I learnt from Rabbi Lew and Norman Fisher, I will often give them something to think about while they sit quietly. Staying silent is not easy for 12-year-olds, they need help with focus, and "watching" their breathe is too hard a concept for many of them to grasp at this point in their development.

I start with the basic instructions--sit up, towards the front of the chair; plant your feet on the ground; place your open hands palm down on your thighs or on the table; again, sit up with your shoulders back. I tell them that meditation is simply about being in the present moment--not thinking about what happened in school earlier today or about that soccer game tomorrow--just be here...now. And then we breathe. Of course there's some giggling--as I said, the silence is hard for them. But each week they have a little more comfort with the practice, and a couple have come into the classroom, eagerly asking, "Are we going to meditate today?"

I end the quiet time--which is usually only a minute or so--with a poem, and then we recite the blessing for studying Torah. I try to read something that has a relationship to what we will study that evening. This week, as a prelude to our discussion about God, I read this poem by Ruth Brin, z"l, that is a favorite of mine. They seemed to feel the beauty of it--I hope you do too.

All the invisible things fill our days,

Music and love and laughter;

All the intangible things affects us,

Words and anger and prejudice.

You are invisible and intangible,

A God of moods and relationships.

Within us, you are the spirit of unity.

Beyond us, You are the guide to greatness.

We pray to You with an invisible, intangible prayer.

You answer with a flaming sunset

And the touch of a baby's cheek.

Shabbat Shalom