Hypocricy

Readers of this blog know about my practice of reading the wedding announcements in the Sunday NY Times. Sometimes there is a notice of a semi-celebrity couple. But this past Sunday's wedding pages contained an announcement that was, to say the least, distasteful to read.

The featured vow highlighted the wedding of Colleen Saidman and Rodney Yee. There are so many aspects of this event that are so wrong, but the worst is the justifications and rationalizations these two obviously self-absorbed people make about their relationship. To read Ms. Saidman's quote, "For us to be together, it couldn't have been a harder path" makes me ill.

Rodney Yee came to fame as a yogi (although I would not describe him as such) while teaching in the Bay Area, and I know far too much about him. In the NY times article it is mentioned that their affair started in 2002 while they were both married to others. To say they "had formed a close student-teacher relationship" is an understatement. They both justify their actions in the name of overriding, passionate love. An article about their relationship appeared in New York Magazine in May 2005.

I've read some comments on this in the blogsphere, with some people taking the attitude, "they're adults, they fell in love, it happens, what's the big whup." Well, the big whup is that this is far from the first time Rodney Yee has had an affair with one of his students.

In 2002, while his relationship with Saidman moved from platonic to "something between us that was unavoidable," he was already in the midst of a scandal centering around his sexual affairs with students. In fact, the scandal broke because one student he was involved with discovered he was having an affair with another student. In a May 12, 2002 SF Chronicle story, the former student said, "I became involved with Rodney when I was emotionally and physically very vulnerable and sought his help as my teacher. . . Rodney's misrepresentations to me, to other students and to his family about his sexual involvement with students represents an abuse of power and is unbecoming of a healer or a teacher."

What does Rodney Yee say on the subject? In a 2004 issue of SELF magazine, he admits his sexual relationships with students. "The reality is that most teachers fall in love with their students, but sex is such a small part of it." He did say that teachers should not get involved with their students, but "every once in a while, just like in therapy, there might be real chemistry between two people. It's a decent guideline, but you shouldn't be crucified for not following it. . . I don't understand what the big deal is. It's private. It's none of your business or anyone else's." I'm so outraged by this that I won't even comment. I think his justifications of consistent abuse of the teacher/student relationship speak for themselves.

Maybe these two people deserve each other. But if I were Colleen Saidman, I'd be prepared for history to repeat itself. She should note this Yee gem from the SELF magazine article, "Some [of the relationships] were OK and some weren't, and I should have made more boundaries. . . I've never had one-night affairs, but deep friendships that moved into sexuality. If that's a mistake, then I've made that mistake." It seems you've made lots of those mistakes, Mr. Yee. Instead of teaching yoga workshops in India with your new wife, perhaps you would be better served by refreshing your own studies of yoga, particularly the yamas, and niyamas. That way you will embody the true meaning of yoga.